Letting go & Fall doings

Every so often I realize how good I have it. Every so often I realize how much my husband does for our family. To be very honest, I don't feel like I am a good homeschooling mother. I am an excellent mother, but throwing in homeschooling to the mix really brings out my insecurities and feelings of inadequacy., and it often feels a little too overwhelming for me. My husband, however, seems to have an Energizer battery inside of him which motivates him to keep going when the going gets tough. Sure, he will crash and burn and fall asleep immediately when his head hits the pillow. He jokes that sometimes it's even before. But I'm learning to tell him exactly what I need, and he always seems to step up to the plate.

He has basically taken over on teaching on third grader math. The curriculum we "follow" (I say that loosely) uses practical projects to teach basic concepts. The current math block is all about Measurement through woodwork. My husband, who enjoys woodworking himself, glommed on to this idea and they have both ran with it. How thankful I am for his help.  

And while they work, I can make dinner. Mind you, it is my go-to dinner, but it's still dinner nonetheless, and the kids a busy with daddy. This dinner is my husband's favorite: green lentils and rice with some veggies on the side. This night I made caramelized onions and sautéed cabbage. The lentils I cook with salt and garlic powder. I especially like it with Sriracha on top. 

This mothering gig is very much about learning to let go. Letting go of how I think everything needs to be, and letting others assist me in the process in their own way. Letting go of my expectations of life and being present for the unexpected discoveries, the childlike humor and joy, the simple beauty and being that is life and learning.

Also pictured:

* A baby snake found on a nature walk with friends.

* Some California  Fall garden harvests.

(Our best tomato plant thus far, and more glorious melon-so fun to grow)

Fall & School

Third grade, kindergarten, and an almost 3 year old. Another year of homeschooling has come again. And with it all the doubts and guilt and inner turmoil for me. Julie Bogart from Bravewriter has been my homeschooling voice of reason and saving grace. Her Gracious Space videos on Youtube have helped to push that guilt aside and instead shift my mental thinking toward recognizing all of the work that we actually accomplish. I have been working on giving myself inner permission to create the type of schooling environment that I want for my children and that truly works for us.  It's seeing the beauty of my own world so that my children will see it as well.

I still have a lot to work through. Many challenges I still have no solution for at the moment. Dealing with tears and frustration at imperfect letters and paintings. Keeping them well fed and balancing free play with outside play and work times. Shifting all of our mindsets so that school is more about being a way of life and not a stop/start thing. It really never turns on and off but ideally continually flows. However, the expectations are then continually high, and that can be exhausting. And the biggest challenge is my toddler who, in toddler-like fashion, is like a storm and makes her presence known with all of it's accompanying emotions. The desire to just push her aside and plug her in is there.

Today we did a Michaelmas painting inspired by bobbinsandbrambles.blogspot.com.  The third grader loved it and even led the lesson, having had more watercolor experience than I. However, the kindergartner was in tears because it really was above her level of experience and wasn't meeting her expectations, and the toddler ripped her paper from it being too wet and ran off into another bedroom pouting. I felt a little defeated, yet humbled at the same time. I could clearly see that I had set the two youngest up for frustration from the start giving them an assignment and goal, with the combination of growling stomaches, that they weren't ready for.

I am learning, and I try to give myself grace knowing that we will all get into our grooves better with each passing day. Good sleep, full bellies, and happy hearts are really the key to success in this whole endeavor.

On a positive note, we have spent a lot of time with handwork. My kindergartner is our "maker". There is literally no stopping her. She was operating the sewing machine at 4 years old, unattended, unbeknownst to me at the time. She has really picked up knitting, and it was my third grader who taught her the "knit" stitch. "Through the front door, run around the back, peep through the window and pull off Jack." Some people wonder why knitting is a valuable thing for children to learn and I always convince them with just one phrase: "crossing the midline".

All of my three girls enjoy embroidery, at their own levels. We just look up simple embroidery patterns online and then I freehand them onto paper. When I am satisfied with the image, I trace it onto muslin and let them have at it. We have many Christmas presents in the works.

And the felting!! It doesn't stop, and it's all over the house to prove it. Our kindergarten "maker" made this felted pumpkin patch which is at home for now on our nature shelf. We do love felt endlessly!

With the arrival of October, Fall decor has arrived. I started this fabric scrap garland last year and didn't finish. I threw it into the holiday box and was able to wrap it up in no time this year. I am very happy with it. I think it adds a comforting coziness :)

Our garden was small this year, however, my love for gardening and harvesting continues to grow. It ultimately feels like one of the only things that matter.

Love, peace and blessings to you all.